How Are New York Rats So Big

August 2024 ยท 3 minute read
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The Big Apple's Big Problem: Why NYC's Rats Are Built Like Bodybuilders

Ah, New York City. The city that never sleeps... unless you're a giant rat living it up in a luxury condo (okay, maybe not a condo, but a pretty swank sewer system). But seriously, folks, NYC's rats are legendary. They navigate the subway like seasoned pros, hold dance parties in overflowing trash cans, and some swear they've even seen them rocking tiny briefcases on their way to a high-powered cheese deal. But one thing's for sure: these rats are big. Like, really big.

They're Not Just Vermin, They're Rent-Paying Roommates (Except They Don't Pay Rent)

Now, you might be thinking "Isn't a rat a rat? How big can they get?" Well, prepare to have your mind blown. The average New York City rat can grow up to 18 inches long, not including the tail that's basically a furry question mark. That's the size of a small loaf of bread! Imagine trying to toast a bagel with a giant rat glaring at you from the counter. Sounds like a horror movie, right?

So, What's the Secret Sauce for Supersized Rats?

Here's the thing: New York City is basically a rat paradise. Think about it:

Basically, New York City is like a giant gym for rats. They're constantly bulking up on pizza crusts and dodging danger, which explains why they look like they could bench press a small dog.

FAQ: How to Deal with NYC's Supersized Rodents

  • How to Out-Pizza the Rat? It's a losing battle, friend. Just accept that they're going to get a slice (or two).
  • How to Make Your Apartment Un-Rat-tractive? Seal up any holes or cracks, keep food stored in airtight containers, and take out the trash regularly. Basically, don't give them a reason to stay.
  • How to Befriend a Giant Rat? We strongly advise against this. They may look like they hit the gym, but they still carry diseases.
  • How to Become a Giant Rat Trainer? This is not a career path we recommend. There's probably not a lot of demand for that specific skillset.
  • How to Get Over My Fear of Giant Rats? Maybe invest in a good pair of running shoes?
  • In all seriousness, New York City's rat problem is a real issue. But hey, at least they're getting their protein!

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